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Blessings,
LaKeisha Rainey-Collins

These Eyes, This Heart, This Mind, This Spirit...

These eyes have seen dark days

This heart has felt much sorrow

This mind has battled depression

This spirit had lost all hope for tomorrow

These eyes have seen loved ones disappear

This heart has created walls

This mind has fought for mental stability 

This spirit has endured countless pitfalls

These eyes have seen deep struggle

This heart has been severely damaged

This mind has overcome confusion 

This spirit has fought to manage

But somehow I survived...

The trauma these eyes have seen

The aches this heart has felt

The anguish this mind has battled

The brokenness with which this spirit has dealt

How did I survive?

It surely wasn't by chance

It wasn't in my own strength

Nor by the power of my weak hands

It's because these eyes learned to look to Jesus 

This heart learned to embrace His love

This mind learned to seek His peace

This spirit connected to The Power Source above

These eyes now see the beauty of life

This heart now joy exudes

This mind now rests in serenity

This spirit has been wholly rescued

Jesus

That's how I survived

Yes, Jesus

He's kept these eyes, this heart, this mind, this spirit alive

Life...Jesus

Life...

Ever-changing.

Whirlwind.

Uncertain.

Dark.

Challenging.

Scary.

Discouraging.

Meaningless.

Empty.


Jesus...

Consistent.

Hope.

Strength.

Faithful.

Love.

Purpose.

Joy.

Fulfilling.

Light.

Direction.

Friend.

Life is sometimes an ever-changing whirlwind filled with uncertainty.  Some days, weeks, months, even years of your life can be so dark and challenging that it's scary.  Those times are quite discouraging, and often cause you to believe that your life is meaningless.  You feel so empty...

But!

Jesus is a constant source of hope and strength, and is faithful in His love towards you.  In Him, you find purpose, joy, and a fulfilling sense of belonging and security.  He is the light that shines through the darkest of your days, giving you direction when it's difficult to find your way through each day, each step, each challenge of life.  He is your closest friend.

Place your life, and all of it's uncertainty, in the hands of Jesus, in all of His sovereignty. 

Jesus = Life!

Try Again: No Fear...All Faith!

Ever since the pregnancy loss, it has become the million dollar question that almost everyone asks me – Will you try again?

Each time, I never really have an answer.  Truthfully, I’ve been torn when it comes to considering actually trying again.  There’s a huge part of me that is terrified of the possibility of going through such a traumatic experience again, and if I never give pregnancy another try, I figure I’ll save myself from the risk of suffering that particular heartache and disappointment should the result from the last time repeat itself.

The reality of never having the opportunity to hold my sweet baby in my arms was deeply disappointing for me, and the thought of putting myself in a position to feel that let down again has honestly had me quite fearful.  But since I know that the Lord has not given me the spirit of fear, I knew I had to take my anxiety about conceiving straight to Him.

A few nights ago, I pulled out my prayer journal and favorite pen, and poured my heart to The Father.  I’ll give you a peek inside that intimate moment and share what I wrote...

Read the rest here.

A Little Encouragement...

There are times when things in life become so hard, that it seems not even God can help you. But that couldn’t be further from the truth, because there is absolutely nothing too hard for God, and His Word promises that He will deliver the righteous from all of their afflictions. (Psalm 34:19) I don’t know what hardships you may be facing today, but I do know that God’s strength, grace, mercy, and power will help you overcome. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve suffered, how low you may be, how intense the struggle, or what the enemy is whispering in your mind, God will bring you through.

The very same God who parted the Red Sea to rescue the Israelites from Pharaoh and his army, will make a way for you to overcome the enemy (Exodus 14).

Jesus Christ, who abundantly fed the multitude with two fish and five loaves, will abundantly provide for you and your family (Mark 6:35-44).

Our powerful Savior, who raised Lazarus from the dead, will resurrect those areas within you that are lifeless (John 11:1-40).

Our merciful Lord, who graciously forgave the woman caught in the act of adultery, will pardon you of your sins and wipe your slate clean (John 8:1-11).

He is the same, yesterday, today, and forevermore. If He did it back then, He can surely do it again. God has the solution to any problem you’re facing right now. All is not lost; God will help you overcome. Trust His strength; trust His wisdom; trust His timing; obey His word; keep the faith, and watch Him bring you through.

Be encouraged, my sweet friends! ♥

Thankful Tuesday: My Personal Gratitude

I love the Thanksgiving Holiday!  It always puts me in a mindset of extreme gratefulness, and my heart has been bubbling over with gratitude these past few days.  I am especially appreciative this Thanksgiving, because the current season of my life has been quite difficult.

When my husband and I lost our baby at 14 weeks pregnant on September 11th, I thought there was no way I'd recover from such a trauma. I remember the numbness I felt while sitting in the examination room after seeing my sweet baby lying lifeless inside my womb.  I'll never forget that image...it tormented me in my sleep.  Every time I closed my eyes, it was only thing I saw...my sweet baby baby just lying there. The pain from such loss, the depression, and anxiety took me to such a low place that for weeks, most of my days were spent drowning in tears.

I felt helpless.

I felt hopeless.

I felt forsaken.

I felt weak.

I felt deep sorrow.

I felt empty.

I felt broken.

I couldn't eat.

I couldn't sleep.

I couldn't speak.

I couldn't pray.

I couldn't write.

I couldn't smile.

I couldn't interact with my family.

I descended deep into a pit of despair, and honestly began to believe that it was over for me.  Of all of the challenging situations I'd overcome, this one had knocked me completely off my feet.  My internal world was upside down...chaotic...nothing made sense.  If I'm truly honest, for a moment, I was angry with God.  I couldn't understand why He'd allow something so heartbreaking to happen.  I couldn't figure out what I'd done to deserve such pain.

No one knew my raw pain...no one saw my inner turmoil...no one witnessed my emotional breakdown.  No one.  But God.

When I hid the true depths of my pain from those who came to comfort and console me, He saw it all.  He felt it all.  He understood it all.

He took the mess that I'd become and cleaned it up.  He wiped my tears.  He calmed my fears.  He broke the forming chains of mental and emotional turmoil, and commanded me, His daughter, to rise up from the ashes.  He breathed breath into my lifeless soul, strengthened my buckling knees, mended my shattered heart, and rescued my crushed spirit.   He. Healed. Me.

Totally.

Completely.

Amazingly.

I stand today immeasurably stronger than I was almost three months ago. The pain did not destroy me, but it has propelled me further into my destiny.

I could have drowned.

I could have been consumed.

I could have lost my mind.

I could have...I should have...I would have...but because of God's grace, I didn't.  Praise God!

This is my personal gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving!  What are you thankful for?

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 

1 Thessalonians 5:18, NLT~

Find the Lessons in the Pain

A few days ago, I took to my Facebook page to share my heart with my friends in regards to how I was feeling, as that particular day marked eight weeks after experiencing one of the most traumatic situations I’ve ever encountered.

Here’s what I posted:

It's been 2 months since the devastating loss of our sweet pea, and what a journey to restoration and healing it has been. I am grateful that the Lord's grace has sustained us through it all, and continues to be the glue that holds us together through all of life's unexpected changes. Though this has been a tough season for me, I would not trade it for the way I've grown closer to the Lord and increased in faith, strength, wisdom, and prayer. I've learned so much over the past two months - about life, God, myself, my marriage, purpose, grace, and the list goes on. I'll share a few with you...

1. There is no pain deeper than the power of God's ability to heal.
2. I am much stronger than I think.
3. Broken does not mean destroyed.
4. Struggle reveals the strength of a marriage.
5. I have an extremely amazing husband who adores me and deeply cares about my well-being.
6. Living in obedience to God's plan of purpose will sometimes lead you through the valley of the shadow of death, but you will not die. It's only a shadow, and is cast away by the light of God's love. His light will lead you through the valley.
7. The glory will far exceed the grief.
8. The Word of the Lord is a refreshing spring of living water that revitalizes a thirsting soul.
9. Though life may knock you down, with God, you'll rise again.
10. Your despair does not discount your destiny.

I continue to heal. God continues to shower me with grace. I continue to trust in Him. He continues to prove His faithfulness. The journey continues...

God is steadily restoring, rebuilding, and refreshing me as I journey on in recovering from the pain, loss, and heartache this season has brought upon my life.  Though I could’ve allowed myself to become bitter and angry with God, I choose to be brave and look deep into the pain to find the lessons and wisdom I can gain.  Furthermore, I’ve made the choice to apply those lessons to my life as I continue to move forward in fulfilling God’s purpose for me, and to share the wisdom I gain along the way with others.  For me, that’s what the current challenges of my life inspire me to do.  Click here to read the rest.

Follow this link to read my latest contribution to Womanhood With Purpose blog.

Grace & Peace!

xoxo