Monday, July 30, 2012

Don't Give Up

On any given day, you can find me having sporadic bouts of praise and worship in my living room, kitchen, or bedroom.  With no preacher, no Hammond B3, and no neighbor to hi-five, I go in all by myself.  That popular church saying holds true for me – “When I think of the goodness of Jesus, and all He’s done for me, my soul cries out Hallelujah!” I honestly become overwhelmed with emotion whenever I reflect upon the Lord’s goodness, grace, and mercy in my life.  I often get a serious case of the can’t-help-its and let my floors have it!

A few days ago, after encouraging a young lady to not give up on her life, I reminisced on a time in my own life when my prayer was frequently “Lord, just let me give up!”  I worshipped God from the depths of my soul until my tear ducts dried up and my words became incoherent.  Why?  Because He did not grant my amiss request.

I have experienced my fair share of distress, disdain, and discomfort throughout my life.  Like many other women, molestation and the absence of my father - among the plethora of bad choices I made - led me into a life of sexual immorality, addiction, depression, and low self-esteem.  I had sunken so low, and become so accustomed to my hard-knock life, that when I finally reached a place where I actually wanted to get a grip on my downward spiraling life, it proved to be too challenging.  Praying was easy, but believing that I’d ever see the answers to my pleas for help, hope, and healing was extremely difficult.

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