Friday, August 6, 2010
Happy Being Me
Growing up, I really didn't like myself. I wasn't considered pretty or popular and I was always shy and quiet. I was raised by my grandmother who was on a fixed income, so there wasn't much money to spare on the latest fashion. I'm not going to even talk about my hair *smh*. As a result, I was often teased and bullied. On top of that, my natural father was never in my life, and that alone made me feel unloved and unwanted.
There was nothing I wanted more than to be loved and accepted, and I would conform in whatever way I needed to to obtain it. I thought that because I didn't like who I was, I needed to be someone other than myself for others to like me. This often meant going against the morals and principles that my sweet grandmother had instilled in me. I believed that if I could get others to love, or even like me, then maybe I would love myself. Boy was I wrong. Instead of gaining the love and acceptance I so desperately longed for from others, insecurity, depression and loneliness became my best friends; all of which followed me well into my adult life.
There were times that I believed God had made a mistake in making me who I was. Though I accepted Christ at an early age and was taught that I was created in His image and He loved me, I didn't believe it. By this point, I had taken on so many characteristics from people I wanted to be like, that I had absolutely no idea who I was. I thought how can God love me when I don't even know who I am? What I didn't realize is that although I didn't know the real me, God did, and he loved me for me. I wanted that. I wanted to love myself the way God did.
Though not very long ago, I eventually grew tired of my relationship with insecurity and depression. I decided that we needed to cut all ties and go our separate ways. Through MUCH prayer, fasting, wise counsel and studying God's word, God showed me my identity. I was introduced to the real me...the person God created me to be. One that is beautiful, loved and accepted...and I like her. Better yet, I love her.
Today, I am a confident woman who loves every part of herself and embraces her own uniqueness. It's taken me a while to reach this point, but I thank God for the journey. You see, God reminded me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made and His works are wonderful. (Psalm 139:14)
I don't know who this is for today, but know that you are one of God's wonderful works...you are beautiful, you are loved and you are accepted just as you are. Your value is not predicated by the acceptance of others, but by the fact that you were made in the image and likeness of Christ. Love yourself!
Til we meet again...live more, worry less, laugh often!
Your sister in Christ,